You wouldn't allow a cancer patient to wallow in agony. To allow even an animal to not be treated for pain is cruel and unusual but for a CRPS patient, its completely acceptable to allow us to hurt so badly we vomit, black out, deal with anxiety and depression, cry, spasm, go days without sleep and lose our own ability to function.
I have been disregarded at the Naval Hospital Emergency Room after a civilian doctor admitted to not knowing what CRPS was and told me "You'll have a few uncomfortable days" and then went on to brag how he had "never had to depend on a narcotic" then he walked away leaving me crying and frustrated, plunging me a little further into my mad, mad, MAD world of CRPS!.
This is my current struggle;
I am a USN dependent.
My CRPS began at the hands of someone else, an organization and that "organization" is one that is within every single community. This organization that I won't name, for fear of retaliation (for they've been watching me almost daily since I was injured). I have seen people park in front of my home with cameras, they watch me on FB, and yet take no responsibility for what happened during a workout. On 31August2011, I slammed into a cinder block wall during a workout with resistance bands and a trainer and one of those things failed me. I shattered my radius and ulna. I also suffered a concussion and within my wrist the shards of bone nearly severed the muscles to my thumb. You have to consider the force it takes to shatter both a radius AND an ulna. That's insane. But hey, that's completely within standards of a "normal" workout...riiiiight?
But I won't go there.....not yet anyway. I will concentrate on the "now"; the present.
My struggle today stands with getting medical care, more specifically, the naval hospital and my doctors with their inability to have anyone treat me with kindness, compassion or understanding. For them at the Naval Hospital, my illness is a nuisance, and they can't be bothered. I was just recently dismissed from my
WOW.
Ironically the doctor at The Shepherd Center also wants me on Butran and Nucynta but Dr. Navy won't prescribe those medications, saying "I Can't".
So here I am.....stuck.
I have completed both the MRIs (cervical and brachial plexus). I completed the x-rays as well as the phase 3 bone scan with radiation....and now we wait, because Dr. Navy (the one who refuses to release me) is on leave. He left one doctor in charge so when I went to ask for a pain medication refill I believed I wouldn't have any issues. I was wrong. In February Dr. Navy took me off Dilaudid, my breakthru pain med and put me Oxycodone. I ended up have severe allergic reaction to Oxycodone so he switched it to Hydrocodone (ummmm...same drug family, similar allergic reaction) but this time I kept my mouth SHUT and continued to take it with a Benadryl. I needed some relief and I just didn't want to argue anymore. Fact is, I didn't want anyone to look at me like a junkie. I do know the Tylenol damages the liver (as does the Ketamine) so I really don't relish taking any medication with acetaminophen, so I requested to be put back on Dilaudid. Nope. Stand In Dr. Navy wont fill it.
So I have Spring Break coming next week with our family and no pain meds. Talk about a dilemma.
This is why most days it feels as if I am running thru oatmeal. I can't seem to get ahead. Tricare coverage lapsed for my Pain Rehab Therapy, so while I was doing well with that, I now have 11 days off from that while we wait for another authorization.
The trouble with my CRPS limb has migrated to my upper back, they say its most likely from "over-compensation". They're hesitant to ever say the CRPS could be spreading. Mean while, I do the exercises at home. I have bought a foam roller and a two pound weight. I manage to get through my stretches, practice my rows and breathe....for now, it's all I can do.
You get tired of plastering a smile upon your face. I still put on my make-up, brush my hair and do what I need to do. I am lucky to have an understanding and compassionate husband and children, some days that's all I have.
So I have Spring Break coming next week with our family and no pain meds. Talk about a dilemma.
This is why most days it feels as if I am running thru oatmeal. I can't seem to get ahead. Tricare coverage lapsed for my Pain Rehab Therapy, so while I was doing well with that, I now have 11 days off from that while we wait for another authorization.
The trouble with my CRPS limb has migrated to my upper back, they say its most likely from "over-compensation". They're hesitant to ever say the CRPS could be spreading. Mean while, I do the exercises at home. I have bought a foam roller and a two pound weight. I manage to get through my stretches, practice my rows and breathe....for now, it's all I can do.
You get tired of plastering a smile upon your face. I still put on my make-up, brush my hair and do what I need to do. I am lucky to have an understanding and compassionate husband and children, some days that's all I have.
They say if you can count your blessing on one hand, you have enough...well, I only have one hand and I cherish those blessings.
As for our future and military cutbacks, my husband, who will have 26 years in and is facing retirement from the job he loves, we wonder how we will ever pay for the lifelong therapy, treatments, tests and medications required for me to function. It's frightening.
Gotta love cutbacks.
Gotta love cutbacks.
For now, all I can do is just BREATHE.
BREATHE.
BREATHE.
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