With CRPS or any other chronic pain condition we have good days and we have bad days, it all goes back to that "Spoon Theory" I mentioned in my very first blog post.
For me, the weather affects my CRPS-I AM a human barometer. I am far more accurate at predicting the weather than any weatherman on television. Temperatures below 65 degrees send me into a flare and storm fronts render me useless: a semi-catatonic, heating pad perched mess. Today is a prime example of that.
I'm frustrated.
This week I have a fairly large "to do" list before my husband returns from a three week detachment.Then, of course, we have out of town guests coming for a visit before they head off on a cruise. The "Pre-CRPS Me" would've been working frantically to ensure everything was perfect for my husbands return home: house would've been spotless,fridge cleaned and stocked with hubbies favorite foods and I would've visited the salon to make sure my 'do was done.
In respect to the guests coming, I would've turned into all out "beast mode" making sure everything was perfect--I am anal retentive in that regard. Doors would've been repainted (those finger smudges drive me crazy!), rooms would be de-cluttered, I would dust, mop, wash and wax--attention to every single detail. The "Old Me" was known to paint an entire kitchen or bathroom at the drop of a hat simply because guests were coming. These days I am lucky if I am even able to make a bed.
That depresses me. Who WOULDN'T be depressed?.
Now I need to enlist the kids help to just get the day to day chores tackled: things that before would've been a breeze for me: loading/unloading of the dishwasher, running the vacuum, laundry, scrubbing the bathroom. On a good day I can do one, perhaps two of those things--depending on the "spoons".
Now no longer do I worry about dusting the ceiling fan blades or the door jambs. I used to take the books off the shelves and dust but that doesn't happen anymore. Now I just dust around things. I cringe when people look around after they arrive in our home because I think they are taking in all of the things the Pre-CRPS Me would've completed.
In some ways it saddens me, burdening those I love with tasks that used to be mine. But looking at that "glass half full" from another perspective, I am teaching our kids how to be responsible adults. They already have learned to cook, they can do laundry and we have one child learning to drive. When he gets his license it will be a blessing because I will be able to depend on him more to get me to and from appointments as well as run to the grocery store for me.
Since writing this blog, my husband has returned and our guests have come and gone.---they were gracious enough to ignore the clutter. Now we have Spring Break 2014 starting this afternoon and I have my mother-in-law visiting as well as our daughter returning from college. I haven't seen B. since Christmas and need this time to recharge with her. Having any child live 1000 miles from home is difficult, but its even worse when your child's your best friend.
So now back to the drawing board....time to find a way to clean this home, and prepare for my guests.
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